iRa’S pAtHeTiC LiFe

sUm DaYs i fEeL LiKe sHiT.. sUm DaYs i WaNnA qUiT.. i FeLt sO F**KeD uP dAt i’M sTuCk iN tHiS sHiTs.. wHy NoW.. tHeRe hAs bEeN a cHaNgE oF hEaRt sInCe a yR aGo.. bUt wHy iS iT nOw dAt i HaVe tO FaCe aLL e bLaMiNg?? mY cOnFiDeNcE hAs bEeN aLtErEd.. mY sEnSe oF sEcUrItY hAs bEeN LoWeReD.. aLL bEcOz oF.. e MiSuSiNg oF cHaNcEs dAt i’Ve gIvEn u.. bUt wHeN i FeLL fOr e kInD LoVe i’Ve bEeN LoNgInG fOr.. u aCcUsEd mE oF BeInG uNfAiThFuL.. KeNaPa BiLa LeLaKi bUaT tAiK, iAnYa DiAnGgAp bIaSa.. TaPi KeNaPa BiLa WaNiTa yG bUaT tAiK, iAnYA mEnJaDi PeRbUaLan oRg SaNa sInI.. BuT PpL jUz rEfUsEd tO nOe e tRuTh wHy wE DiD wAt wE DiD.. sUx..

u dUn LiKe mE tO PeN mY ThOuGhTs dOwN HeRe.. bUt HaVe u eVeR sIt dOwN, HoLd mY HaNds, aSk mE wAts mA PrObLeMs…? hAvE u..? i rEfUsEd tO pEn dOwN wAt eXaCtLy u DiD.. cOz mOsT oF mY FrEnS r uR FrEnS.. sO i ThInK i sHuDn’T pRoCeEd MoRe tHaN LeTtInG OuT My fEeLiNgS.. n iF u’Re sAyInG iTs wRoNg tO LeT oUt mA fEeLiNgS oVeR HeRe, tHeN wHeRe n tO wHoM sHuD i LeT iT OuT tO?? nOt EvEn oNcE i LeT mY FaMiLy nOeS aBt ThIs.. nOt a SiNgLe oF tHeM.. sO mUsT i cRamP eVeRyThInG iNsIdE n eNdEd uP KiLLiNg MySeLf?? YeS.. i"m LoSiNg mY gRiP RiTe NoW.. n i nOe.. sUiCiDe iS aGaInSt e ReLiGiOn.. bUt i OnLy gOt MySeLf To bLaMe iF oNe DaY i wErE tO LoSe mY SeNsEs n LeAvE eVeRyThInG eLsE bEhInD..

aLL oF e TiMes.. wHeN eVeRyThInG eLsE sEeMs wRoNg.. i FeLt LiKe tHeRe’S nO UsE gOiNg oN.. wHeN e wHoLe wOrLd’s gOnE.. wHo’S ShOuLdEr WiLL bE LeFt fOr mE tO cRy oN..? sHuD i LeAvE e wOrLd oR LeAve e BoTh oF u n gEt BaCk tO mY oLd wAyS?? yEs.. LiFe HaS tO gO On.. bUt PpL jUz CaN’T sToP bItChInG, MeMoRiEs cAn’T bE eRaSeD.. n HeArTaChEs cAn NeVeR bE CuReD.. u SaiD u’LL LeT Me gO.. bUt u’Re tRyInG tO MaKe iT SeEmS LiKe eVeRytHiNg eNd bEcOz oF mE.. dAmN..

WiLL tHeRe Be aNoThEr tOmOrRoW fOr mE..? i hOpE thErE wOn’T bE aNy……………………

eNdInG…. rAcHeL…